Bizarre News: Ace Hardware + Zombies and a Kraken

Oct 11, 2011
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Westlake Ace Harbor has launched a new advertising campaign featuring zombies. The witty take features products and services for the newly undead entitled Delaying Your Decay. For those of the human ilk, they offer Don’t be Scared. Be Prepared. Both sections are featured on the same page. Should you need a more comprehensive guide, A Human’s Guide to Zombie Preparedness and A Zombie’s Guide to Delaying Your Decay are available as PDF documents. You can even browse the FAQ if you have a question the documents did not cover.

Not to be overlooked, paleontologist Mark McMenamin tossed a theory out to the masses featuring a kraken. He claims the giant was responsible for the deaths of multiple school-bus sized ichthyosaurs. McMenamin believes that after chowing down, the kraken arranged the skeletal remains in a pleasing manner. What else is a Kraken to do after satiating himself on scrumptious morsels?

Sadly, there is little evidence for the giant predator. Still, I’m not going to mock it if I’m out and about on the high seas.

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