The Epic Meal Time folks crack me up. The latest instalment features the cooking of a meat shield. If it featured someone hacking the guy up with a sword rather than the Russian drilling holes into with a rifle, it would be a perfect demonstration of the fate awaiting many hirelings and henchmen.
Dead henchmen aren’t nearly as tasty. You could also eat your armor if you run out of rations. No more dried beans. Yum.